New media soon to be newish media.

Four years ago, I stared blankly forward as a professor tried to convince me that blogs were going to revolutionize communications. That corporations from around the world will adopt them into their everyday tools. Right.

MSVU 1, Ben 0.

Today, all their predictions have come true. Companies ARE using blogs - some of them quite successfully. Of course, others have abandoned them after a few posts while even more still simply maintain them as extensions of the corporate mouthpiece. On the other hand, young professionals in certain Canadian cities are expected to have blogs. It shows creativity, initiative, writing skills, interest and proficiency in technology, and showcases whatever you like. Not to mention, it's a great way to take control of your Google results. I'm just saying for all those drunk photo shooters out there...

But blogs are no longer new. At least not in my mind. They're completely mainstream. People used to get fired for their personal blogs (resulting in my ultimate favourite, found here). Then professionals started getting careers thanks to their blogs (I'm looking at YOU, Chris Clarke). Now? Well, they're common knowledge and I can feel the excitement dwindling. I'm not saying that blogs will disappear but that they have become standard fare. The cheeseburger of new media.

RSS is another one. Feed readers and news aggregators were originally put into use in the mid-90s. Remember those days? That's when I thought the internet was nothing more than www.hotmail.com and clipart galleries of South Park. Which was AWESOME - since I wasn't allowed to watch South Park being ten and all...

Now, before you all go Malcolm Gladwell on me, yes, of course there is a tipping point and we need to wait for the general population to catch up - since, what's a technological tool if no one is using it? However, won't it be a tad silly when corporations clue into collaborative technology and make a big deal about how they've cut down hundreds of email a week by using a wiki to manage document edits? Here's a statement from a brilliant colleague who runs a great blog and webportal:


Canadian writers take to streets to support striking U.S. colleagues
"The WGA insists writers must be compensated for rebroadcast of their work, while the studios maintain they should not be locked into a payment formula because the internet is an untried medium."

I find this statement both hilarious and offensive (being employed in what is after 10-15 years still being called the field of "new media").


I agree. What are these people waiting for? What proof do they need before believing that things are changing? How can anyone possibly make a statement like "the internet is an untried medium"?? Is that a joke?!

The worst part of it all is that many of these technophobic creatures were the very same who scrambled to invest big bucks to develop their Second Life real estate only to realize it evolved into little more than (sweeping statement alert) a pervy playhouse...

I'm ranting now and it's getting a bit sad since my internet keeps cutting in and out as it has all week. I think it's doing it to spite me as I write about technology changing our lives.

Lastly, I'm looking for a motivated IT professional or student with web design/development expertise interested in great volunteer experience where he or she can really prove their chops and flex some creative muscles. If they can fix my internet while they're at it, all the better! Pass along any names you know!

Have to go continue to curse Eastlink now.

Blogblock

Slow going on the blog this week, folks. It's for a reason. An ugly reason. That ugly reason's name is Eastlink whose awful service has left us without television and internet for the past week. Garbage. Aliant here we come for what is sure to be a whole new barrel of inconveniences!

More to come when I've made it through screen-withdrawal and finish reading The Golden Compass.

Good (?) customer service

Me: Mr. Video Difference, I would like a membership please.

VD (unfortunate acronym): Piece of cake. All you need is a driver’s license and a credit card.

Me: Hooray! I heart boxsets! Everything is apples and sunshine at Video Difference!

VD: Right, your DVDs today will come to $50.16. If you pre-purchase a rental package for $52.48, you’ll get all your shows today plus another free rental and $2.36 on a gift card.

Me: Numbers make me frightened. [thinking that I was just given $50.16 worth of reasons why I’m not allowed near boxsets without supervision also known as the Can’t-Help-Myself Embargo which also limits my visitation rights with any and all puppies.]

VD: Oh, it’s easy and it’s saving you money.

Me: [tilts head and raises eyebrow]

VD: I’ll just charge your credit card for the $52.48, load this gift card for that amount, use the gift card to pay $50.16 for today’s rentals, give you the two free rental coupons that you get just for signing up, this third free rental coupon to complete the rental package that you just bought using your credit card – or shall I say, your gift card – leaving you with $2.36 on your gift card, all the DVDs you had wanted, plus the additional rental as part of the package.

Me: Your video wheeling and dealing is giving me shingles! [juggling credit card, driver’s license, VD membership, and three coupons]

VD: There. You’re all set.

Me: I feel unclean… [slinking out of door with armful of DVDs]

MRP 101: Measuring for success

A long-standing issue in the communications field is that of proving the return on investment for PR initiatives. Since the profession is not and will likely never become scientific, it has always been difficult to quantify our impact. At a CPRS and IABC joint event, we were shown a new tool being presented as one of the biggest steps in reaching a level of standardized evaluation of our work.

Maria Antonopoulos, Vice President of the Consumer Practice at Porter Novelli Canada and Kevin Foster, Vice-President, MRP Sales, Marketing and Product Development from NewsCanada call Media Relations Rating Points (MRP) a cost-effective, simple measurement that gives professionals apples-to-apples comparisons of Media Relations initiatives. By predetermining customized evaluation criteria (key messages, inclusion of photo, quote from spokesperson – what you want to hear and see in the media coverage) for each campaign, a simple point system then offers a direct rating out of ten to quantify your success. Over 300 users representing over 1300 clients have already incorporated the system into their practices.

What does all this mean? Well, let’s find out. I’m going to rate my own campaign (of sorts) using the print coverage during the Canada Writes competition.

[Aside from being the valedictorian, I’m also the valedictorian of milking things.]

To start, let’s pretend that I already chose my evaluation criteria to be qualities that would improve my image as a strong professional in the public relations field while showcasing more creative ventures as well. I would get one point for each of the following in any coverage:

• Photo
• Example of writing
• Professional background
• Mention of All Rights Reserved
• Mention of No Ordinary Rollercoaster

The other five points in my rating of ten come from the general tone of the coverage. Five points for positive, three points for neutral (nothing but the facts), and zero points for negative. Here we go!

Article: Local librarian vies for victory on Canada Writes
Outlet: The Saskatoon Star Phoenix
Media Type: Newspaper
Date: November 13, 2007
Reach: 60,000
Tone: Neutral
Photo: NO
Example of writing: NO
Professional background: YES
All Rights Reserved: NO
No Ordinary Rollercoaster: NO
Coverage Rating: 4/10

Article: The Write Time
Outlet: The Chronicle Herald
Media Type: Newspaper
Date: November 20, 2007
Reach: 114,000
Tone: Positive
Photo: YES
Example of writing: YES
Professional background: YES
All Rights Reserved: NO
No Ordinary Rollercoaster: YES
Coverage Rating: 9/10

Article: Local is finalist on CBC contest
Outlet: The Daily News
Media Type: Newspaper
Date: November 20, 2007
Reach: 22,000
Tone: Positive
Photo: YES
Excerpt of writing: NO
Professional background: NO
All Rights Reserved: YES
No Ordinary Rollercoaster: NO
Coverage Rating: 6/10 (I docked a point since they got my name wrong. These bonuses and subtractions should be predetermined as well)

The average rating for my media campaign? Based on these three articles and the criteria behind my MRP, I am at 6/10. I could do a similar measurement including the radio coverage for more complete results, but you get the picture.

A six isn't SO bad (considering I wasn't speaking to the media with any of my criteria in mind) but where I really shine is my cost-per-contact ratio - another suggested method of quantifying media relations initiatives. I reached 196,000 people without spending a dime. Actual campaigns can be broken down by dividing your budget by the total reach for your per person cost.

That's my run down of the new system but don't take my word for it. Visit the website to download a light, six-page PDF outlining how it works as well as the template they use to collect their data FOR FREE.

Poolside payback

Twenty-five minutes. My mother had been waiting for a good twenty-five minutes for the three men in her life to appear poolside.

Out of all the European adventures the family had been through up until this point, an afternoon at the indoor pool in France seemed to be the easiest the Boudreaus had faced to date. There were no passports involved, no narrow escapes on British public transportation, no run-ins with organized crime outside of observatories on Italian hillsides, and most importantly, no overzealous border control guards. As for necessary planning, there was a pool and we would swim in it.

As for the pool itself, it was filled with slim, French families swimming laps rather than splashing and frolicking like their North American counterparts. Speedos, rather than swimming trunks, were unanimously chosen by both men and women. French swimwear seemed untouched by both evolving fashion trends and the growing number of unflattering physical characteristics that squashed the speedo’s chances of global domination in the first place.

At twenty-eight minutes, she cursed herself for letting her guard down.

Not before allowing her mind to run through every and all worst-case scenarios including Paul getting arrested for a misspoken French saying and the clumsy one slipping and cracking open his head…again, her boys finally appeared from the men’s locker room wrapped in towels, staring holes into the tiled floor.

“Finally! Is everything okay?

Her question was met with grumbles and grunts resembling something along the lines of “we don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay…well, are you boys going to get in?”

More avoided eye contact and unarticulated hesitations as the kids shuffled to sit on the edge of the pool, towels still clutched firmly around their waists.

Pauline looked to her husband to be let in on the apparent joke. As she looked away, the boys slipped swiftly into the water, making their way quickly to the deep end, their eyes still darting around with rampant paranoia. Amidst Paul’s mumbles and the ruffle of the towel tightened to the point of plastic wrap around his legs, she was able to make out three words:

“only…speedos…allowed.”

She muffled her laughter in hopes of making the experience of having to wear a lost-and-found speedo less scarring for everyone involved. That being said, she logged the memory away knowing that someday she'd laugh at their expense for once.

This post is to make up for the fact that the border story was retold at every party over the course of the past ten years, delivered in monologue form during a drama class, printed in The Chronicle Herald, and posted on this blog.

Dear Stephen King...

I watched the latest movie adaptation of one of your books tonight. Unfortunately, once again I'm left wondering why your movies still merit top billing. Sure, ride that Green Mile and Shawshank Redemption wave. I mean, I'm still dropping the valedictorian title every now and then - I get it. However, there's something to be said about maintaining your personal standards.

THE MIST was undeniably low-budget. What can be said about a movie with two sets? One - a food market which somehow acts as the only stronghold against the questionable existence of creatures/certain death/the power of God that remains hidden in THE MIST. Two - any other scene of the movie which is shrouded in THE MIST in order to reinforce the terrifying nature of THE MIST so that no audience member forgets the existence and threat of THE MIST while at the same time cutting costs for set design and props. Consequently, your MIST budget must have been out of control...

The movie ends up playing out much like this:

Scared person: What's going on?? (terrified)

Hero: It seems that the whole community is covered in THE MIST. (inquisitive)
Scared person 2: Oh no! No one should go out into THE MIST until we know what's out there hidden in THE MIST!

Stupid person: But I HAVE to go out into THE MIST! I have things to do! People to see! Many tasks and responsibilities that cannot be put on hold just because of THE silly MIST. (securing the death toll)

Hero: That's not a good idea, there could be anything out there in THE MIST. (gazing)

Stupid person: I'm going out into THE MIST anyway! (exits)

Stupid person: AHHHHH! I'm being dragged off by something into THE MIST! Woe! All because of THE MIST!

Hero: See? We must all be wary of THE MIST until we can find out what THE MIST is and what might be hidden in THE MIST and how we can survive in THE MIST. Ooooo...it's soooooooo foggy!

Other scenes include sitting in a car surrounded by THE MIST, driving by a house surrounded by THE MIST, and gazing out many windows into THE MIST. It all reminds me terribly of those clever pictures we drew as children of polar bears sitting in a snowstorm with their eyes closed and their black noses covered with their white paws.

Almost every scene looked like this:
Don't get me wrong. The message was alright. The whole ugliness of the human race when faced with adversity, the extremism of military and religious establishments, and most importantly, THE TERROR OF THE MIST!

To be honest, I went to see it because of the hype surrounding the amazing new ending - I should have investigated the original ending first...maybe then the new one would be less cliché. [Please note Mr. King that I did not spoil your ending and therefore should not be sentenced to death as you have recommended. I simply said it has been done before. I have a sinking feeling that you still want to throw me on the gallows.]

When all is said and done though, I guess I didn't like it because it was "buggy bug" rather than "ghosty ghost". Anything sci-fi has been done to death here on Portland Street thanks to the newf. As I say that, the new Battlestar Gallactica TV movie is about to start meaning that I need to go act like I understand what's going on and that I am not still distracted by and captivated with THE MIST.

Okay, the second part will be easy.

Summer lovin

Sandra: Remember the bruschetta incident? "Can you PLEASE be attractive for FIVE MINUTES?!"

me: Is that when that phrase was coined?

Sandra: It sure was...I was eating bruschetta and the bread was too hard to cut and I had to pick it up... but the pieces were too big to eat like that, so tomatoes were falling onto the plate... and you were all "PLEASE BE HOTTER, GOD!" which was pretty great, considering that the instant we stood up to leave, you were all, "did my ass sweat?"

"School board pulls 'anti-God' book"

Halton's Catholic trustees and staff to review fantasy that is 'apparently written by an atheist'

http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/278845

I was just considering this morning whether to post how much I'm enjoying Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials already or if I should just wait until I finished part one of the triology. I figured....nah, I'll wait. I don't want to overkill the book just before the movie comes out. But oh look! Controversy! I haven't gotten far enough into it to get a real sense of its Down-With-Jesus sentiments, or, maybe I have and didn't notice.

"The Golden Compass is the first of the "His Dark Materials" trilogy of books and have been likened to the Harry Potter series. In the U.S., the Catholic League has accused the books of bashing Christianity and promoting atheism to children. The league is urging parents to boycott the movie..."

http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/278845

What I HAVE noticed is that despite comparisons to Harry Potter, these stories are written with the complexity of character and language, the vivid tensions and emotions, and the truly outstanding creativity that I found lacking in the HP series (please don't yell at me). It is far more C.S. Lewis than it is J.K. Rowling.

Again, I'm completely taken by the story and plan to force myself to finish The Golden Compass before I'm allowed to go see the movie. And let's remember, as long as kids are reading, they're thinking and learning. Not to mention the fact that religion should be kept at least an arm's length from the classroom.

Since when is imagination and dreams of other worlds considered anti-religion?

God forbid I don't post for a day

No big or exciting news today. Everything seems to be heading back to normal and my friends are beginning to get over the Brian gag. Good thing since my parents sure aren't. The contract that has kept me on the nine to five is ending today so I'll be whipping through the freelance work while continuing the self-promotion extravaganza! That, and playing with my brand new Globe & Mail Online Access subscription - more news than I could ever want or be interest in. Someone get me more contracts before I become overinformed!

As for blog news, I'm working through some coding issues to get rid of some HTML showing up in certain RSS feeds. You know about those right? They'll basically tell you when I update the site so you know when to check back. It's easy on Macs (duh!) and I'll be figuring it out on PCs this weekend so if you need a hand getting it set up, let me know. Google Analytics is messing some things up while also providing an addictive internet hobby of spying on my blog readers (40-60 people a day! good start...). Also, look for more quotes from my wonderful friends who think I don't pay close attention to what they say. They're going to wish I didn't.

Tonight, you'll find me at the Empire Oxford (on the corner of Quinpool and - surprise! - Oxford) screening The Princess Bride on the big screen for the first time in years. We had a little scare when we found out it was the only film reel of the movie in Canada and that after 20 years it was a tad brittle, but it seems to be screening just fine. We're hoping for a big turn-out to raise funds for the All Rights Reserved Literary Journal and to pick up our newest issue, Testify.

Tickets are $10 for adults, $5 for anyone under the age of 13 and the show will begin promptly at 7:00 p.m.

"and I do have skinny calves. But fat ankles. The lord giveth and the lord taketh away. Or, not giveth at all or just... he giveth and he maketh sure you don't think too highly of yourself."

Because my friends are hysterical...

From the girl living my PR dreams over in England:


"I think I need to write a piece titled 'Things I Hate About Britain' and SPOILER: leggings as pants will top the list"

The curious incident of ASD

I read Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, an award-winning, best-selling mystery novel narrated through the eyes of a young man with Asperger's, from cover to cover while sitting at Pearson. [Yes, I fully realize how behind the times I am on this one]. That's one of the great things about this book. Its simplicity of language makes you whip through some pretty complicated issues regarding Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), the difficulties faced by parents of children with special needs, and the outstanding mind of this one boy in particular.

As far as the book goes, I found it a refreshing look at an issue I hold very close to my heart. This young man just wanted to be understood - he has his reasons for all of his behaviours, even bad ones. Even when he might seem completely out of control to those trying to help him, he's just doing what he needs to find calm.

The book surprised me with a twist earlier than expected and a complete change of pace at the midway point. Not only is this book an appealing storyline presented in one of the most unique voices to hit the pages in years, but it is also an important tool in communicating the needs, challenges and opportunities of families and friends touched by ASD.

For about five years, I worked for HRM Recreation planning and delivering fun summer programs for kids of all ages. I worked one young man with more severe (a word I hate to use in this context as it implies that he was somehow worse) symptoms than the narrator of The Curious Incident. I watched him go from nonverbal, to conversational - in his own wonderful way - from indifferent to social interaction to a very friendly, funny, amazing young man.

Even though I knew him for years, meeting him after school until his mother got home, I think this book did so much for my understanding of him and his perspective. My time with him was among the most rewarding and challenging in my life and I'm happy to finally get a grip on why one day he wouldn't let me to turn on a single light in the house or another when he didn't want to do anything but talk about the imaginary wolves outside.

Additionally, it showed me how lonely it can be for some parents of children with Autism. It can be harder to develop a connection or bond with your child, it can be a challenge for relatives and friends to understand your relationship, and it can absolutely put an extra strain on your marriage. Many organizations quote up to an 80-85% divorce rate for these families. Watching these factors take their toll on the family I had become close with was really tough. Even more so while I read such a similar story unfold on the pages in front of me.

I don't know where I'm going with this anymore but I don't always have to be polished. It's MY blog, for crying out loud. I guess I just have a hard time with press coverage of ASD research. I don't know that these children need to be "cured". I don't know about "making them normal". Research and support, certainly, but "disease" and "treatment"? Ugh - it's a concept I'm still getting my head around. What I do know is that I miss that family very much and I wanted to state for the record that ASD is something that has had an impact on my life - a really great one. I may never fully understand what these families go through, thanks to Mark Haddon, I might be one step closer.

Your child has a higher chance of being born with ASD than he or she does of becoming an Olympian or a pop star. ASD research deserves your attention and support.

"I stepped outside. Father was standing in the corridor. He held up his right hand and spread his fingers out in a fan. I held up my left hand and spread my fingers out in a fan and we made our fingers and thumbs touch each other. We do this because sometimes Father wants to give me a hug, but I don't like hugging people, so we do this instead, and it means that he loves me."

Autism Society of Nova Scotia
The Provincial Autism Centre
Autism Society Canada

The tribe has spoken

As of noon today, my segment of Canada Writes has officially aired and I am hereby allowed to talk about it! For anyone who missed it (myself included), it will be back on CBC Radio One at 7:30 p.m.. If this is the case, stop reading as what is to come is a big giant spoiler.

I arrived at the Toronto CBC studios early Saturday morning after almost colliding with the TV hockey commentator whose name I can’t remember. Okay, I never knew it to begin with. Fine. I then met the four other contestants – Derek, Jenny, Amy, and Rosemary – and proceeded to experience the wit of writers as we laughed for the next two hours. As it turns out, Rosemary was getting married that evening, Derek’s big prize trip to Toronto meant just driving over in rush hour traffic, Squid became the preferred topic for the writing challenges for its rhyming qualities (Diefenbaker was chosen as the least appealing), and everyone had at one point or another lived in Ontario except for me.

We had a two-hour lovefest where we decided that no one should go home. These cats are awesome, funny, smart human beings and I’m so glad to have gotten to meet them!

In the studio, we had to perform our timed writing auditions from an earlier round (found here), and then the fantastic five would be cut down to three. The judges harshly ripped us from our sunshine & lollipops brigade. I believe the first comment on my piece was something along the lines of: “I just don’t like it and wouldn’t go see it if it were a movie”. Super. It was no surprise when I got the boot.

The best part about getting kicked out? No, it wasn’t getting to shop Toronto all day long…it was the audible sigh of relief from my parents when they heard the next challenge was to prepare a monologue about your childhood and family. This came to mind, as did this, and many stories about this.

It was a lot of fun though. There was much Dartmouth-bashing (if you’re among those offended, please click here before sending your hate mail), an awesome pitch for a Shatner movie, dance-music intros that always went on just a tad too long, and Elvira Kurt asked to see my ass

Now I’m home and loving the day of media attention (both as Brian and Benjamin Boudreau), happy to keep in touch with the rest of the Canada Writes Class of 2007, and looking forward to continuing my creative ventures while finding my dream PR job. Oh right, and in true reality show cast-off fashion, I’m looking forward to the offers for The Surreal Life, Red-Carpet Correspondence, and Infomercial fame.

I have been getting asked where I plan on going with this so I'll answer that question too. I've been working on a piece about a spot out in Wellington on the Shubie Canal. It's where this piece took place and many more. The original settler of that land back in 1800s kept a diary where he wrote one line per day for about 70 years. I'm working on blending my writing with his, some historical aspects of the Canal, etc. It won't see the light of day for quite some time but I may reattempt to win CBC over again with their literary awards next year.

Congratulations to whoever the winner may be. I’ll be listening and awaiting your many moments of brilliance!

Definitely NOT Brian

Gord: Nice work Brian...hahahahahahaha
Me: *expletive*
Gord: Ben is much nicer than you Brian.

In print

Broken-home baby and bad reality show fan, Brian Boudreau will compete in Canada Writes on CBC Radio today. Intrigued? Read on. *sigh*

"A fan of the reality TV show America’s Top Model, Boudreau will get his own turn in the spotlight performing the pitch on air." - The Chronicle Herald

DAMNIT! I can't believe the Herald has me plugging Tyra Banks' reality show instead of All Rights Reserved which I talked about more times than actually appropriate. I can just picture what readers are saying right now.

"Oooooohhhh! A local writer in a CBC competition. Wow! He must be - wait. Oh. Oh god. Oh my god! HE LIKES ANTM!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, what's happening with Celine Dion?"

"HRM resident and contest finalist Brian Boudreau said yesterday...When Boudreau was a little older, he went to live with his father on a small island off the Dutch coast." - The Daily News

Now...is it worse that they got my name wrong, or worse that they made it sound like I left my family behind to run off with my Dad? Last time I checked, MY WHOLE FAMILY WENT TO HOLLAND FOR A BIG GIANT EUROPEAN FAMILY LOVE-FEST. I think my parents will love this article the most.

Darkside damage control

If I'm writing posts to cities, I think it would be wise for me to say a few words to all those in the Dartmouth area. In the coming days, you are sure to hear some things that may not sit well with you and I would like to explain in advance before the hate mail starts pouring in and especially before Gloria McClusky starts knocking on my door...

1) I maintain that I am not FROM Dartmouth. There is nothing wrong with being from Dartmouth. But I am not. Fact.

2) No, I am not really from Halifax either (although I am if you use Halifax interchangeably with the Halifax Regional Municipality which I do as it gives non-Maritimers a better point of reference for where I am from.)

3) I am actually FROM Fall River - that place you pass on the way to and from the airport), so you can maybe see why I say Halifax for the reasons specified in #2, especially when participating in national competitions.

4) I have lived in Fall River, Texel (The Netherlands), Galway (Ireland), and downtown Halifax for longer than I have lived in Dartmouth.

5) Yes, I do like to make fun of Dartmouth. The same way people like to pick on Newfoundland, Cape Breton, all of New Brunswick, etc. My good friend and neighbour who will remain unnamed as to not be discriminated against as a Dartmouth resident (see? there I go again...) and I like to joke about our living on the darkside of the harbour.

(We find #5 particularly funny when we are on the fantastic ferry commute on our way to our brand new apartments with views of the harbour. I haven't yet decided whether it is irony or sarcasm.)

6) In game show-type competitions, participants are encouraged to be amplified versions of themselves. Hence the ragging on poor Dartmouth.

In actuality, people living in Dartmouth are quite smart. With Dartmouth Crossing, King's Wharf and Founder's Corner developments, the new NSCC campus, and all the other exciting ventures that soon will not be able to fit in the downtown core of Halifax, the darkside is soon to become a powerhouse. The more people are realizing the value of areas like Sullivan's Pond, Lake Banook, the beautiful old graveyards, and so many other Dartmouth amenities, the more property values continue to climb.

So yes, I said some things that will get some raised eyebrows but I'd like to remind you all, I'm best taken with a sense of humour and a glass of gin. I am on my way back to DARTMOUTH after this post and will be once again be enjoying my view from DARTMOUTH before catching the ferry in DARTMOUTH to work tomorrow.

Toronto time for the Maritimer

Okay Toronto – let me level with you. We’ve spent two weekends together in the past year and I thought it’s time we clear the air.

You have a pretty bad rap with a lot of Canadians I know. They think you’re too busy, too noisy, too dirty, too business, too fashion, too…well, too everything. And it’s true. You are packed with people, stores, business, excitement, arts, culture, and diversity. Coming from Halifax, which I absolutely love and miss if I’m away for more than three or four days, I find these qualities in you very enticing. Don’t tell Halifax – it’s very jealous and still a bit tender from the whole Calgary situation.

Now, let me say, our last meeting wasn’t all that wonderful. I had great company but all I can remember is that you smelled impeccably like urine. This time around, you really have wooed me quite nicely. After the past two busy months, it was unbelievable to break away and enjoy the anonymity of the big city. I was just another drop in the pool that washes through Yonge and Bloor. The hustle and bustle was exactly what I needed to relax – oddly enough – and got me in the spirit for the holidays.

You gave me enough stores to wear me out before my wallet, you showed me what a hipster bar looks like, you gave me so many restaurants to choose from that I usually ended up just walking until I felt passy-outy (it could be a word) and settling on a veggie dog instead of making a decision. In short, you made me question why everyone seems to hate you.

But then again, I have no idea why your streets have Easts and Wests, I’m too stunned to figure out the subway system and have the cramping calf muscles to prove it, and I might be addicted to nicotine from all the smokers fogging up your streets. Plus, that urine scent is one that you really just can’t shake. I’m glad I’ve never had to experience it in the summer.

It’s true – Halifax isn’t quite all the way there yet. I don’t like knowing that I’ve been to almost all of the restaurants. I don’t like the serious lack of diversity and sometimes I just don’t want to run into anyone I know. The option of melting into the crowd is actually kind of nice. On the other hand, our city has clean air, historical beauty, a real sense of community and a ton of wonderful, talented, brilliant people in it.

While you’re certainly very appealing in many ways, that Maritime loyalty is really playing against you. Halifax might not be all I’m looking for yet, but it certainly could be. Even still, I’d rather take my chances in helping to shape a city rather than trying to carve out my own place with you.

So Toronto, I’ve had a great weekend but I’m not ready to leave my harbour view and breathing space just yet. Don’t be a stranger though. Maybe we can get together again sometime but for now, I'm going back to my ole faithful.

The reason I brought the big luggage

It's important to remember in examining these before and after photos of my luggage, that everything I purchase was either 30% off with Gap Friends and Family discounts (Thanks Nick!) or from H&M which basically means the same thing compared to other stores.
Three dress shirts, one tux vest, two merino v-necks, one pair of Italian leather shoes (also 30% off), one pair of jeans two pairs of socks, countless pairs of underwear and other things that can't be mentioned in case Christmas recipients are reading. Oh, and a $118 scarf. Thank god that one isn't for me and I am being reimbursed in full...


The Toronto economy needed me.

Brunch tomorrow with the ladies then it's back to Halifornia and clean air.

Oh yes, I think that just by walking the streets I might be addicted to nicotine.

On the cusp of CBC stardom

Leaving for the studio in about an hour's time. Still very tired but I should be able to perk up for the cameras. Er....microphones. I have to be honest, I haven't even read through the piece I have to perform this morning. I'm hoping that spontaneity will give me a creative edge or that they'll confuse buffoonery for artistic genius. I'm excited to meet the other competitors since they all wrote funny, upbeat pieces. You can read them all at http://www.cbc.ca/canadawrites or just tune into the show on CBC Radio One on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

I had a front seat view for the CN Tower light show that went on well past when I fell asleep. I'm going back to the shops this evening for some Christmas items and then brunching tomorrow with some friends who were MIA last night. I have to check out at noon tomorrow but shouldn't be leaving for the airport til close to 5. I'm hoping I can pay for a luggage storage at the Train station. Fascinating, I know. That's all I have for this morning though. I'm saving all the creativity for the show.

One more great Toronto quote for the road:

"It's a good thing we have this Vegas trip coming up otherwise our relationship would've totally fizzled out by now."

Blogging under the influence

In about three minutes, I will have been awake for 20 hours. By awake, I mean either struggling through Air Canada difficulties or hiking all over downtown Toronto and beyond because I'm too afraid to try my luck at decoding the subway.

I just got back to my lovely hotel room with the best beds in the entire world from the Beer Bistro (18 King Street East) with the PR ladies. One is working with Harbinger, another with Rogers, and the last is working with aboriginal communities to reduce the smoking levels. She is also training for the Boston Marathon. Go Laurie, go!

I'm too tired for words. I can't even think about performing this first thing tomorrow morning but I'll have to if I want to make it to the next round. Which I certainly do. Probably won't get to post until tomorrow night so keep your fingers crossed for a victory!

Sleepy but blogging

Quick update: Google Maps in Halifax is very different from Google Maps in Toronto. I spent the entire morning and afternoon dragging my ass from the CN Tower, to Bloors Street, back down Yonge, and everywhere in between. I've realized that Torontonian drivers love to honk their horns about 27 times per block and that jaywalking is much more a Spring Garden Road thing rather than a Yonge Street thing. 

I'm starting to look the way I feel having been awake now for precisely 12 hours but have been refreshed by the veggie dog option offered by the four street meat vendors outside of just about every major building in the city. 

I've already found the two H&Ms, a scarf for a friend at home, and got to overhear quotes that are so Toronto it hurts.

"Well, I mean, I've been so busy with school and everything so I've had nothing but RedBull and Rockstar energy drinks for the past two days. Well, I guess that's not true...I had a salad this afternoon after I got a really bad dizzy spell..."

"Don't you already have a black leather jacket?"

"Yeah...they'll match!"

"Oh. Yeah, that's true."

"Of course you love her dude. She only has two teeth!"

Also, through the magic of the blogosphere, Mr. Chris Clarke - whose office turned out to be surprisingly close to my hotel - and I grabbed a Tim's, bashed Second Life and chatted about how new media have become standard communications tools among new graduates. Oh right...and about what the hell I'm going to do to make it to the top tomorrow.

Of for reunion drinks with my fellow BPRs tonight! Update: Okay, the time change got me again. I have enough time for a nap first. More later.

First impressions

By some odd turn of fate, I'm back in Toronto a year to the weekend from my last trip to the big city. I still have a horrible sense of direction and expect to be lost for the majority of my time here. Last time, I couldn't even find the CN Tower. I know. No further comment necessary.

THIS time...I'm in a beautiful hotel (the Intercontinental) which is conveniently across the street from the CBC studios for tomorrow. Additionally, check out the view out of my room's window. I'm already doing better than my last trip! 

More later after I wander through some shops while listening to The Killers' new album (great so far!). Also, for anyone following the story, Air Canada handled themselves very well this morning considering the circumstances. Everyone was extremely pleasant and we departed and landed pretty close to schedule. You win this round, Air Canada...

My VH1 Behind the Words Special

I was interviewed by journalist from The Chronicle Herald today who was covering my participation in this weekend's competition. The article will likely run on Tuesday as that's the first day of the show on CBC Radio. Before I leave for Toronto, I thought I'd share some of the quotes that she wrote down that I'm desperately hoping will not be included in the provincial newspaper. And no, most of them are not better when placed in context. It's pretty much what-you-see-is-what-you-get.

My creative writing prof was an absolute slave driver. (okay, this one was actually meant in a good way.

It's like American Idol but less exciting.

Where are you from?
Errr...uhhh...Halifax.
Where did you go to high school?
Lockview.
So you're actually from Fall River then.
Ohhhh okay, sure. Just not from Dartmouth. That's all.

I'm going to go be my own America's Next Top Model.

What do you do with a headstrong girl?

As winter (and self-promotion fatigue) sets in, I am getting back to reading for pleasure. For those of you who haven't been in university lately, post-secondary education really takes the fun out of reading simply by pulling you in so many different directions that you can't stand the thought of looking at more words on a page at the end of the day. Can you tell I've recently ranted about this with fellow grads? Moving on...

I've purchased my literary stockpile for the cold months ahead and will report as each is completed - or possibly before. You see, as quickly as I can tear through a book, the last 50 pages are absolutely painful for me. I generally make it 90% of the way through with the greatest of interest only to want absolutely nothing to do with it by the end. Just a tidbit for any therapists in the crowd.

That being said, I finished Elle by Douglas Glover last night. The historical fiction with more hilarity and raunch than ever expected won the 2003 Governor General Award and has subsequently been torn apart by reviewers.

History, I like. Canadian history, I have no interest in. I'll be the first to admit it. So why did I read Elle? Because it is more Sex and the City and sarcastic humour than it is "and then we skinned the beavers, canoed to the coast, and traded with the frenchman". Yes, there is some of that in there but it's hidden between the laugh-out-loud narrative provided by a headstrong girl - who reminds me of a few of my headstrong girls. Yes, that means you. And you. - stranded on an island in the 1500s.

I must be the first French woman to set foot in this world, the first of the General’s expedition to land, the first colonist in Canada. (For the record, I am wearing scarlet stockings with garters, red velvet shoes, white taffeta petticoats with a gown of the same cloth but tawny in colour, and an upper coat of red damask. I can see right away that the shoes will not last.)

The first half of the book is wonderful in every way. I have never enjoyed reading about someone praying for death quite as much as this. Throughout the first 100 pages, I couldn't help but applaud this girl's insistence on being witty despite the circumstances.

But the likelihood of any positive outcome seems remote, and my spirits rise at the prospect of imminent death by wolf-bite, savage arrows, starvation or something else I have not yet reckoned upon – the nature of life, in my experience, being a tendency to astonish the participant.

Seriously, death is hilarious. Elle really was the Seinfeld of the desolate Island of Demons.

The second half of the book takes an interesting turn. I've interpreted it as her descent into both madness and the native culture - others have just said it's a weird book. Interpret her birth of a f