Spice World doesn't count

You can take the has-been diva comebacks. You can take the three-named heartthrobs from my high school days - Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Freddie Prinze Jr., Seann William Scott, all of them. Take those movies bringing high school cattiness to murderous extremes – Mean Girls, Jawbreaker, The Craft, The Heathers; I’ll move on. You can even take the StarSearch moments that manage to squirm their way into every single American Idol performance…I’d survive without most of my guilty pleasures.

Whether it’s Harry Potter, alcohol, science fiction, cheesecake, home décor shows, porn, or Survivor, just about everyone has one. Sometimes they’re embarrassing, sometimes illegal, sometimes they’re just so out of character that explaining yourself would take far too much effort. For whatever reason, these little indulgences remain little known facts about your character, obviously…otherwise they’re just regular pleasures. Duh.

In my case, there is just one that I don’t think I’d be able to go on without: British Comedy.

“The last mosquito that bit me had to book into the Betty Ford clinic.”

We’ve been through so much together. Keeping Up Appearances and Are You Being Served? on the BBC were my English fix while I was Holland. Eddie and Patsy on Absolutely Fabulous have turned out to be the longest-lasting relationship from my Ireland trip. And today, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz fame – and my inspiration for writing this note – might just be the funniest men alive in my eyes.

I can’t even count how many times have I lost control and blurted out a quote from my favorite UK shows and movies only to be shut down by poor uninformed North Americans. Sure, some might have made sense more than others – “PR darling! I PR things. People, places, concepts…LuLu!!” versus “It’s carpets! It’s madness! It’s carpet madness!!” – but these random outbursts are more than just feeble attempts at a British accent. They are my attempts at educating my friends, family, and colleagues of the importance of this undervalued genre of film and television.

They may lack PG13 nudity and drawn-out tales of attempted losses of virginity but these voids have been filled with masterworks of sarcasm, puns and gags ranging from the very subtle to the completely outrageous. Give Britcom a chance and your vocabulary and ability to engage in witty banter will increase ten fold…guaranteed. Yes, you’ll eventually be able to keep up with the fast-paced dialogue and yes you’ll eventually get over the fact that these productions often feature performers over the age of 55 who have not been botoxed to oblivion.

Eddie: What do you think of the kitchen, Pats?
Patsy: I think it's fabulous.
Saffie: It isn't done yet.
Eddie: No, sweetie. Maybe she's right. Maybe this IS fabulous.

Now before you feel compelled to rush out and rent every season of every show ever featured on the BBC, as I’m sure you all do given my mad abilities of persuasion, it’s time to make a game plan. You can’t just run the marathon without doing the 5Ks. Let’s look past the fact that I would never attempt either and remember that before any major feat, it’s important to stretch.

Stretching for Britcom means watching Love Actually – a fantastic movie through and through, but also an excellent way to get used to British accents in a full-length feature. Pay close attention to Emma Thompson, she’s an absolute genius (“There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?”). Also, this way you’ll see quite a few of the wonderful British performers that get cycled through so many UK productions.

Now, to get right into it, go to the movie theatres and watch Hot Fuzz. This movie is pure UK genius. Follow it immediately with Shaun of the Dead and make a big Pegg & Frost day of it. You’ll laugh your face off but also realize how in watching Britcom you can only ever catch about 70% of the jokes on the first go. So, lesson one is: watch, laugh, repeat.



Patsy: She's so anally retentive she wouldn't sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture.

After the Shaun/Fuzz priming, you’ll be ready to really kick it into high gear. Take a look at the following list of classics and see what peaks your interest: Fawlty Towers (hotel humour), Are You Being Served? (retail humour), Blackadder (medieval humour starring Rowan Atkinson), Keeping Up Appearances (pretension vs. white trash humour), Father Ted (religion humour), anything Monty Python (The Holy Grail moving being my personal ridiculous favorite), and even Mr. Bean (the show, not the movie. The movie was garbage - err…rubbish).

After some regular exposure to our British counterparts, you’ll be ready for my very favorite, the show on which I attempt to base my life, the inspiration for my career and drinking habits, Absolutely Fabulous. There is nothing more satisfying than watching Eddie and Patsy stumble around drunk and hopped up on amphetamines as they burn poor Saffie with cigarettes. Skip season one and go straight into two, three and four for best results. You’ll figure out who’s who as you go on without having to sit through the fairly tame first season and be able to fully enjoy the full-on outrageousness that has been used throughout this note.

Eddie: But darling, that dress was awful! How did you manage to get her to wear it?
Patsy: Oh, I just told her a cock-and-bull story about how I was a slave to my mother in her dying years and how I always strived to make her like me and she never loved me at all, ha!
Eddie: Ooh!... [reflects for a second]
Eddie: But Pats, sweetie... That is all true. Your mother never loved you at all.
Patsy: DAMN!

These shows do take some getting used to and it will probably take some time to develop an appreciation for them. But hey, you did it for wine and beer, right? If you never gained an appreciation for alcohol, Britcom and my life are not for you.