N.O.R. Cribs

I was going to do a little prologue at the beginning of the vid explaining how I intended to use MTV Cribs as my inspiration for this home tour (please note kicky, overplayed music accompaniment) but felt rather ugly and unmotivated this morning. For that, I apologize.

But hell, this video tour of my new house is so fantastic that I really shouldn't have to apologize for anything.

Enjoy and keep in mind that none of the furnishings are mine. Mine will be better. Obviously.

(At the beginning it says "watch out suburbs", unfortunately too small for compressed video. If you click over to the actual YouTube page then you can click on a high quality option.)

Flattery

I swear I wasn't fishing for a nomination, but I am extremely flattered anyway!

If you're interested in inflating my ego, you can still vote here.

"What the hell do you write about me?!"

From the makers of Splenda and the woman who brought you such people as my brother and me...

I give you, a salvaged Mother's Day surprise:Splenda's use-exactly-as-sugar directions screwed me today. I have a killer, easy recipe for chocolatey, oaty, peanut buttery goodness that was going to give me about 30 cookies. When made with Splenda? The recipe results in three of the above-pictured hearts.

Garbage. But cute garbage.

I have another tray of different cookies in the oven which are also going to be a baking fail since the newf has been skimming chocolate chips off the top for weeks now and I have no interest in putting on pants for a grocery run. They will be fine although substantially less chocolatey.

At least she will be happy that I didn't continue to tarnish her reputation by posting quotes such as: "3.8 GPA? The only 3.8 I had in university was blood-alcohol level!"

She likes to pretend that one never happened. BUT IT SO DID.

Time for love

Since many of you lovelies provide me with daily entertainment and insight through the power of blogging, I thought it would be wise to get people on the blog-love bandwagon. You in?

Click on over to the Bloggers Choice Awards and get to voting and nominating to make sure your favourite bloggers know they're appreciated. I haven't sent in all of my nominations so far (some I'm just trying to nail down which category would be best) but I've started!

The Culinary Chase
Creampuff Revolution

Some other people beat me to more of my favourites but don't let that stop you from voting:

Must Love Geek
Surviving Myself

Who have you nominated? Share your links to get the votes flying.

Browsing Fail

NOR Pledges:

• I will not become a dog blog.
• I will not become a house blog.
• I will not become a design blog.

That being said, today we left Calvin at home in his box (a kennel actually but "puppy-in-a-box" sounds like more fun than "angry dog in a crate") and went window shopping. We are soon going to be overwhelmed with space and figured we should start thinking about how we're going to use it.

Yes - I have already put a stop to many of the newf's ideas including 1) a gift-wrapping room "LIKE CANDY SPELLING!", 2) a sci-fi room "pew-pew-pew!", 3) an ironing room because newf = grannie.

As you may have guessed, our window-shopping skills leave a lot to be desired. We came home with the chair and couch that you see at the top of the post...

Now for the fun part!

You can now look forward to a much nicer Ben now that I am officially a homeowner!

All the little pieces came together this morning before I got back from my run (fourth one this week!) and let me tell you, IT FEELS GOOD.

I have since been watching home shows all day, scoffing at the people who are having real estate conundrums because THAT'S NOT ME ANYMORE and to scam ideas to fill the space that my little unconventional family will soon find itself in.

In case you didn't catch it, I am going from a beautiful but very small two bedroom apartment to a more-than-double-the-size, four bedroom, two full bathroom house on a 14,000 square foot, landscaped lot (video tour coming on Monday).

We are fully aware that we don't have the furniture to fill the house yet but hey, if I end up with a room just to chew bubblegum, who cares! It'll be MY bubblegum-chewing room!

We're set for the master and guest bedrooms and one of the offices (we're going to have a working office upstairs and a more cozy office downstairs off the TV room in our nice little nook with the wood stove). We're not even going to touch the upstairs living room until we have money to get new furniture. We even have one room that doesn't have a designated purpose....yet (see: bubblegum concept).

Here's where you come in:

Will you please send me photos of design jobs that have left an impression on you? I'm fully aware that you don't know what my style is (warm, but sleek and clean) but it'll at least get my brain thinking and give me some sources of inspiration. Links in the comment section or photos to my email (ben[dot]boudreau[at]gmail[dot]com) would be much appreciated!

Thanks to Jenn for the office photo you see at the top of the post!

On the lighter side

*I'm leaving momentarily to surprise my brother with goodies for his birthday. I don't think he reads this blog regularly enough to catch this post before I'm at his place in ten minutes, so I got him two books about zombies by Mel Brooks' son Max. They look hilarious. Or, super serious to someone actually concerned with surviving zombie revolutions. Honestly? Once zombies are involved in my daily life, I'm out...you can keep your survival books


*We are then going as a big ole family (yes, the newf gets dragged into these events now too if only to find inventive ways to incorporate the word vagina into conversations for the sake of rattling my mother) to Morris East for dinner.


*Shannon is giving me attitude in the comments section of this morning's post. Just for that, here is a notable quotable from her that sums up everything about her that you need to know. Spoken proudly following a news segment on Hilary/Obama and a commercial featuring Gisele:

"Have you noticed they're really trying to bring back the supermodel? Now THAT's something I can get behind."

Coping methods

Yesterday was a terrible day made worse by the fact that it had so much potential. It was warm and sunny for my run with the pooch and I had two dates with friends I hadn't seen in ages later that afternoon.

But six days of irregular sleeping patterns, increased stress levels, and decreased nutrition levels got the best of me and turning your's truly into a raging lunatic. You see, my week started last Friday. That's when my seemingly easy, breezy (watching too much ANTM) week turned into a huge list of things that HAD TO BE DONE ASAP OR ELSE YOU WILL LOSE YOUR DREAM HOME.

Since then, I have been struggling to keep up with realtor meetings, inspections, bank appointments, offer amendments, and insurance junk. The newf and I have been handling it marvelously - knowing when to just have a laugh or when to unite and release our stress at other people rather than at each other. But, since the newf has to work rather than keep me mellow 24/7, I almost killed a man. Then, since I didn't, I almost killed a baby.

When I'm at the point of lashing out at babies it's time to go visit my mom. Usually, she will either make me a martini, tell me what a t-word (her favourite naughty name) I'm being and to get over it, OR, she is ready to wage war on the free world on my behalf. Yesterday, the solution was to stand in front of City Hall, a common route for on-foot commuters, and make fun of people until we felt less angry.

Like, the homeless man ("from Cape Breton" - a crucial distinction according to him) with rum on his breath who was begging for 36 cents. Reaction to his first attempt: "We're from Cape Breton too. Where's OUR 36 cents?"

He went around to everyone else in the square and came back to us. Hobo fail. Reaction to his second attempt: "You already tried us, SIR....*expletive* inattentive panhandlers..."

Or, like the lady in her office who put up a sign in the bathroom asking people to call her if they find her lost $20 bill. Think about it. We then decided the best course of action would be to plaster the city in signs saying:

LOST - $200,000 in small bills. Please call if any portion thereof is found.

After laughing maliciously at many other people, Mom took off saying: "Look, those buses are just gearing up speed. Watch me walk out on the crosswalk in front of them so they have to stop quickly and make everyone slam their faces on the seats in front of them."

Luckily, I am doing much better today having slept very well last night after relaxing with cake...

...I mean Shannon who brought cake...

...I mean cake...

I'm happy to report that we are numerous steps closer to closing the deal once and for all. An amendment after the inspection knocked a couple thousand off the price, the letter saying we can get the home insured came through (after the aforementioned man I wanted to cut called to kiss my ass in a big way after the newf threatened to take OUR business elsewhere), and the financing will be finalized once the bank assessor goes through the place today.

But seriously, don't mess with me until this is over. Kthxbai.

BEST! THING! EVER! (so far today)

Now, I know y'all loves y'all some Miley Cyrus, y'all. (Sorry EP).

Well, if her synthesized beats, catchy hooks, and unsettling teenage sexuality laced with down-home country religion weren't enough to reel you into her coven of preteen fans, THIS IS YOUR MOMENT!

Welcome to the greatest YouTube battle since Jimmy Kimmell and Sarah Silverman. This, my dear friends, is the street dancing battle between Moose from Step Up 2: The Streets and whoever directed it, and Miley and her nobody-cares-if-she's-there-or-not vlog friend Mandy.

If you're interested in cameos from Channing Tatum, Diana Ross, Lindsay Lohan, Chris Brown, Adam Sandler, the Channing Tatum knock-off from Step Up 2, and presumably Miley's grandmother, it's worth the risk of making your brain bleed.

Thundercats! HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!




Thanks to Ohmygoshi for bringing this to my attention.

Run or die trying

My plan worked.

A week or two ago I posted about how the beautiful spring weather was encouraging me to get fit and active. By making this pledge to myself, I effectively banished the sun from the region. Because I am by no means hardcore, this also means that my exercise regime gets put on hold during days that are not ideal conditions (sunny but not too sunny, warm but not too warm, water and cheerleading stations set up for my benefit - you know, the standards).

In all fairness, I have been paying more attention to what I've been eating and have upgraded some of my walks with Calvin to runs along the Salt Marsh Trail in Cole Harbour (three times a week). It's a path that runs along an old railroad track across - you guessed it - salt marshes out by the ocean. The ocean that I will be much closer to when I'm in the new house. The beach is called Rainbow Haven. Hilarious? Definitely. ("Hey kids, let's go swimming out at the Gumdrop Sunnybear Lagoon!")

The park is beautiful, secluded (so that I can sweat, wheeze and pray for death without being passed by Bowflex models in the midst of their daily marathons), and all in one straight, flat path so that Calvin is not overwhelmed by directional choices, effectively ruining my pace and tripping me repeatedly.

I have also dug out the tennis rackets and will be dragging the newf to the courts weekly and will start peer-pressuring my brother into taking me to the rock-climbing gym. Lastly, I'm investigating the purchase of heavier martini glasses so that I'm doing curls on a regular basis.

Before I go on, let it be clear that I am not worried about my weight. I'm not going to be one of those people who gets a fitness disorder and works out for hours a day even though they look great. I'm far too lazy for Cardiorexia and would rather just deprive myself of nourishment than end up wasting my life away in a gym. Plus, being already rather wee (last year I had to buy a couple of shirts from Gap Kids), I'm really just hoping to be less squishy before summer since I plan on spending all of my time in my friend's pool.

Ideally, all of this activity will erupt in a massive showing of athleticism and rock-hard-abbery (I have the top two...it's the other four that are being aloof) in July when I run the Not-Since-Moses 10km race with my Dad (and maybe the newf and maybe the mom). Just so we're clear, my Dad ran three marathons the year he turned 50. THREE. FIFTY. Gah!

But moving on, the race is beyond cool. I wrote about it (instead of running it) last year but basically you take a boat out with the tide, then run back on the ocean floor before the tide comes in. I like the external motivation of not wanting to be swept out to sea.

Here's hoping I don't give up halfway through.

20SB Blog Carnival

I'm constantly reminded of reasons why I joined 20-something bloggers on Ning.com. From being their featured blogger once, to actually getting finding some great writers out there (and getting a a solid batch of fantastic readers), to now being included in the most recent edition of their blog carnival.

For anyone unfamiliar with the concept, an editor collects a bunch of different posts from across the blogosphere and puts them all together into one great MEGA post. Their theme this time around was Tests and I got in with this post. Don't just stop at mine though, there are a lot of great ones on the list!

Need more carnival action? Check out the one I had here for National Poetry Month.

Need more 20SB action? Join up here and add me as a friend. I'm very friendly.

How it all went down

Thursday we went out with our realtor for the first time. We went to four houses. Three were on a street with some of the best views of the downtown core that I had ever seen. Unfortunately, these were unaccompanied with the views of the living dead slowly walking along the street (seriously, old people are cute but this lady ate brains in order to keep living past 140) and a very scared old lady shaking in the window as she tried to see who might be her future neighbours. The houses themselves were not worth having to live in a zombie feeding ground.

To make us feel better, she took us out on Friday to a different area to show us how far our money can go if we go a little further from downtown. We had ten houses to see in three hours. We whipped through them in one in order to go back to the second one we had seen. The only one that felt like home. It had only been listed for two days and it wasn't expected to make it through the weekend. It was the first time we had been asked: "are you prepared to make an offer?"

We weren't. But we did.

At 10:00 p.m. we were sitting in the realtors office, our heads between our knees trying not to hyperventilate. The newf almost threw up. We listened to the realtor play hardball. We worried about losing OUR house. We tried to figure out how much we were rilling to risk to save a couple thousand dollars. We sent in our offer.

At 11:00 p.m. we received the counter offer that we were looking for.

At 8:00 a.m. we had accepted.

The house is phenomenal. Hardwood, two full bathrooms, four bedrooms, a fireplace, a wood stove, brand new kitchen, windows, doors, floors, two-tiered giant deck, 14,000 square foot yard, and still only 10 minutes away from the city.

As each day goes by, we get more excited and less nauseous.

That's all the house news until later this week when the inspection, financing, insurance, and all that junk goes through making it completely official.

Related:
Ummmmmm....
Board games gone wrong

A dose of perspective

Last night I talked to my friend of 15+ years who has kept me sane during crazy times. She has been in Ottablah since the summer for school and is due back in less than a month (woot!). She took a moment to remind me of a date we had last year at a great pizza joint (Alexandria's, of course) before she left for school.

Leigh: You sat there and told me that you wanted the dog, the house, and the [proverbial] white picket fence. You got the dog. You got the house. You got the fence.

Me: Wow.

Me: Yeah.

And here I was thinking that I had stalled over the past few months.

Ummmmmmm....

We. Just. Bought. A. House.


Yeah.


Developing...

Let's talk about my wiener

Against all odds, I have managed to ease off the full-fledged Calvin posts for a little while now. I felt like I was overdoing it a bit since after the social media meet-up, I was known as the dog-blogger, something I never intended to be (I hate being predictable). Plus, I had a lot of other exciting (to me) things going on to talk about like contracts (got two new ones today!) and house shopping (going out with our Realtor for the first time this evening!). Enough parentheses and self-linkage for you? Me too.

So for all the loyal Calvin fans, here's the update you've been waiting for:

-On April 21, 2008 he graduated obedience class on a very high note - namely the only dog to actually do the things asked of him that day. Probably because he finds people boring and refuses to be distracted by their foolish antics while he's busy laying down, sitting, heeling, etc.

-He continues to try to be the Alpha dog of my parents' house by exerting his reign of terror over my Dad and brother. My new approach is for them to corner him when he barks at them. I figure he might be interpreting them as backing off when they just go about their lives. Mild progress has been made...at least in depleting my decreasing levels of patience.

-Calvin is officially every dogs best friend and insists on playing with canines everywhere. He still doesn't realize that he is smaller than most cats so I'd appreciate if you'd all keep that under your hats.

-His tummy has good days and bad days. He's filling out nicely though with some muscleage from our runs (me too!) which is great. He'll always have a puppy face and small stature but he's looking more sure of himself and healthy.

-He has taken to attacking my face with aggressive kisses should I leave him alone for more than 10 minutes in his crate, the car, or elsewhere (Zellers? The dump? The pound? Hooters?). This, of course, is in addition to seeing how much of his face he can fit in my mouth when I yawn first thing in the morning.

-His most identifiable moods/feelings/positions-on-life are: "MINE." "BUSY." and "IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU."

More and more I keep getting a little stunned when I just sit and watch him do his own thing. The ways he cocks his head, sniffs the air, or just the pitter patter of his little toes on the floor. Parents must feel like this in a big way. It's not that I forget that he's a living thing but the more you really, truly think about it, the more overwhelming it is. In a good way. I think.